The Road Less Travelled
by tessss
Summary: A Westworld Fanfic - Maybe what Theresa loved was not Bernard but who he reminded her of. Starts with Charlie's death. Theresa / Bernard / Ford / Arnold
1. Chapter 1

_Still holding the handle._ Her muscles relaxed slowly as she she softened her hold. She closed her eyes and thought about everything that happened; the first time they realized something was wrong. Went to the hospital. Started treatment. And _this_. _It can't be. It's too soon. He's so young. This can't be it._ There must be something she could do. Anything.

She opened her eyes as the nurse approached her and told something. She did not understand a word she said. She just gestured her in and started walking in the corridors, without having the slightest idea of where to go. She walked and walked. Checked every single room with her eyes, very still. They had lost their sparks and aged in the last few hours somehow. She felt… She felt nothing. It was as if everything that made her who she is were gone now. She did not know where to go, what to do after this moment. That gloomy hospital room, that dreadful room had swallowed her baby and there was nothing she could do.

She felt a hand on her arm. A bit startled by the touch, she turned to see who that was. It was the nurse she let in the room few minutes ago… Or was it more than few minutes? She wasn't sure.

"I'm sorry if i scared you but we need to take.. Charlie out of the room now.. and your husband.. your husband is having hard time saying.. goodbye to him." Theresa ended her struggle by nodding and heading back to the room.

As they got close to the room, Theresa fell behind. One hand on the handle , the nurse turned to her and gave her a warm little smile. She could see how much she was suffering and did not want to push her but this was something she had to do, and that, they both knew.

"You didn't say goodbye to him. You can't let him go without a proper goodbye." she said softly. Theresa stood still and then walked in the room as the nurse opened the door for her. The nurse realized the tears on her eyes as she came closer and walked in. _No one deserves to see the death of their children_ , she thought as she walked in the room right behind Theresa.

Theresa saw him holding Charlie tight to himself. He was yelling at the nurses and the doctors in the room that were trying to take her boy. All the gazes turned to her as she walked in. All their eyes were pleading her to stop this. _Just another boy for them. Looking forward to end this dramatic charade and go back to their jobs_ , she thought.

He finally saw her and looked at her blank until she muttered the words softly.

"You're hurting him." He softened his grab on their boy immediately. "Give us a moment please." As soon as they heard the words, all the nurses and doctors in the room walked out. He watched them leave with lifeless and tired look in his eyes. Theresa did not move, did not change her stance. He finally turned to her and said, "I'm not giving him to them.". The tone in his voice was distant and no familiar to Theresa _. I'm not the enemy_ , she thought. As he was still staring at her, her eyes turned to Charlie. How small he looked now. As tears welled up in her eyes again, she approached her boys without taking her eyes off Charlie. Theresa sat on the bed, next to them and took Charlie in her arms. Tears were coursing down her cheeks and she could not stop one from falling down on her son's face. "Oh" she said with a faint smile. "I know how much you hate seeing people cry. I'm sorry... I just can't stop it." As she started sobbing, her husband burst into tears too. She looked up at him and their eyes met. She touched his cheek softly and smiled at him weakly. He rested his face on her palm and kept crying.

"I love you Charlie. I love you more than anything in the world. I'm sorry for everytime i was mad at you. For everytime i shouted at you. And for all the times you were mad at me. I wouldn't do any of it if i could take back the time. Forgive me please. And wait for me.. I won't be long baby. I promise. I'll be there soon." She kept on whispering her last words as she kissed him multiple times.

He combed her hair with his fingers and raised her head softly. He massaged her temple with his thumb. When she looked at him, she saw that he had stopped crying. They stayed like that until he leant over Charlie and kissed him on forehead for the last time. Then he stood up slowly and left the room.

" ** _Arnold_**." Theresa whispered after him. After a brief moment of silence she pulled herself together. She gently layed her boy down on the bed and called for the nurse.


	2. Chapter 2

Startled by the door shot, Theresa stood up and left the study room to see what was going on. Arnold hadn't been at home for some time now and she wasn't expecting him but she shouted his name anyway. There was no answer. She picked up the vase on the table just in case. She hadn't have anyone come and go during the last two months. She slowly tiptoed to the door and lifted the vase. Just as she was about to hit the man in the head, she realized it was him.

Relaxed yet annoyed, she looked at him, eyes widened and asked, "Why didn't you answer when i called out?"

He chuckled _, it had been so long since i heard him chuckle_ , she thought. "I'm sorry. I didn't hear you."

They both stood in the hallway awkwardly. They'd been apart for more than five months and they didn't know what to do; what to say to each other. It broke her heart, _it broke her heart terribly._

"How have you been doing?" he asked as his smile faded away.

"Fine." She stopped. "You?" She smiled in a childish way that made Arnold smile again.

"Good." He walked in and started checking out the living room as if it was his first time there. Theresa followed him and stood by the door. He was acting as if they were strangers. _Maybe they were strangers now, who knew._

 _"He's loosing his control Theresa. The hosts are the only ones that he talks to. He barely speaks to me, barely speaks to anyone. He's loosing the reality of the reality. I'm really worried about him. Please do something."_ She remembered Robert's words when they talked a week ago. _But how am i supposed to help him when he doesn't even talk to me_ , she thought. _Even Robert was worried. This was serious._

"How's Robert doing?" she asked. She could not believe how hard it had become, having a conversation with her husband.

It was apparent that he did not like hearing this, hearing about Robert. He took off his glasses and walked to the counter to take a glass of wine. "He's fine. Do you want some?"

"Yes, thank you." She walked at him and took the glass he extended it to her. She waited for their eyes to meet as she brushed his fingers with hers. When he finally looked in her eyes, she took the glass. Theresa put it in the counter, both of them knew she was about to break but holding herself back.

 _"Don't."_ He said and finished his wine at once and took the bottle for a refill.

"You can't get through this without me. Let me help Arnold." She was literally pleading. This wasn't something Theresa did very often. It wasn't in her character. But at that moment she really did not know what to do. _She felt so weak. She felt so small._

"I'm fine Theresa." He took his glass and the bottle. Theresa grabbed him by the arm as he was walking back to the living room.

"Don't you dare walk away from me." Her heart was filled with rage and she had had enough of this. " _He's my son too, you know_. I'm in pain too. I'm hurt Arnold. _I lost my son_. And _now_ i'm loosing _my husband_. You're slipping away from my hands and it hurts that i can't stop it." Arnold turned his head and looked the other way. _He's doing this on purpose_ , she thought. _He's doing this so i'll get angry and let him be._

"I love you. And i need you. I need you more than i've ever needed you. Don't do this to me Arnold. Please don't."

He pulled away from her hold softly and kept on drinking as he paced to the couch and sat. "You never needed _anyone_ Theresa. I know what you are doing. I'm a programmer _. I make people_. _I know how to read my wife._ "

Those words hit Theresa like bullets. Arnold was anything but cruel. At that moment she really felt that she was loosing him.

"You don't make people, you make _robots_ Arnold! _Get back to the real world!_ " she muttered the words with such rage that made her crumble. She could feel the blood rising up to her cheeks. Unlike her, Arnold was calm, hadn't even changed his posture.

"What is real anyway?" he said, as if his soul had left him.

"Fuck this. Fuck you." Theresa exclaimed and left the room. Arnold watched her leave with no expression on his face. He put the glass on the coffee table and started drinking from the bottle.

...

She woke up to the noise of his footsteps. After the loss of Charlie, she had become a light sleeper. With least movements she checked the time. It was 03.00 in the morning _. He is probably drunk by now_ , and then the scent reached her _oh he is absolutely drunk_ , she thought. He finally got into her eye sight. He had loosoned his tie, unbuckled the buttons of his shirt, took of his jacket and had an another bottle in his hand now. He slowly walked to the windows and opened the curtains. The moonlight met his skin. It looked so smooth. _She had missed it, she had missed how it felt._ His hand rised slowly and wiped away the tear welled up in his eyes. Her heart ached, she hated seeing him like that. He never was a man that cried outloud, spoke about what he was going through. Theresa was no different. _However the difference between them was one considered it as weakness so kept all to herself, but the other just did not want to share._ Arnold was a man that embraced both his happinesses and sadnesses. He did not accept them all. He just considered them as his. He always said they were the only things he actually owned in this life. And the loss of his son was his too. _So why share?_

He turned his head to check Theresa. She immediately shut her eyes close so he did not realize that she was awake. He looked at her for a while. He loved her. He loved her _so much_. And he was mad at her. He was mad at Robert. He was mad at everyone and everything. He knew he wasn't being reasonable but he couldn't help it. _The human race brought him sadness. Nothing else. Period_. They were graced with the most amazing thing; conscious, yet cursed with the worst thing; death. Death. _Funny word_ , he thought. It took his son. What if it took his wife too? I shouldn't have loved them. I shouldn't have loved my son, i shouldn't have loved Theresa. He looked at the fragile neck of his wife, examined her fragile arms, legs. _She was easy to kill._ She was weak, _she was fragile._

He walked at her side of the bed and sat next to her. He tilted his head to let the moonlight reach her face. Shadows and light were clashing on her features, sharpening them. He realized, this was exactly what was happening inside her. _Shadows and light, clashing._ My beautiful wife, he thought. Thinks she can keep everything to herself, all her feelings, all her drives yet _doesn't know they are all out in the open_. At least they were out in the open for him. _He could read her like a book ever since the moment they'd met._ She preffered having people's respect than their love so she always acted accordingly. My lovely bitch, he called her once. She had laughed her lungs out. She knew it was true. He caressed her messy hair.

"I missed you too, Tess."


	3. Chapter 3

She woke up to a feeling of pressure on her chest. It didn't take her long to remember the reason for it. She slowly started caressing his hair. Feeling him by her side brought peace _. Finally_. She gazed up at the ceiling as she listened to his breathing. She hoped he would be asleep for a couple of hours more so that they could stay like this a bit longer.

As if the world hadn't ridiculed her enough, he started fidgeting as soon as these thoughts were rushing her mind. She took her hand off his hair immediately and pretended to be asleep. She could hear him writhing _. He still couldn't figure out where he is_ , she thought. And she was right. She heard him sigh loudly. _Now he knows_ , she thought. He pulled away from her immediately. She felt cold all of a sudden.

Theresa opened her eyes and saw Arnold sitting on the bed, his head between his hands. She slowly reached out to the nightstand and took some painkillers out from the drawer. She brushed her hair back with her hand and touched him by the shoulder, showing him the painkillers.

"Thank you."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, thanks." He said softly. "Look i'm sorry that i… you know…"

"Why are you sorry? For finishing the alcohol stock in the house or sleeping with me after many years of marriage?" He was hurting her more than he could imagine. Did they really reach the point where they were going to ask one another if it was okay to sleep together or not.

He leant forward and folded his hands. She could see him smiling. He turned his gaze at her. "I was drunk and you were not. You hate it when i lay down drunk and you sober." She chuckled at it. He continued. "You hate the smell. Did it stink?"

She looked at him unable to answer him right away. She couldn't stop smiling _. She loved him._

"Oh yes."

"Sorry." Her smile faded away. He had said it, the previous night, when she was, again, pretending to be asleep. He said that he had missed her. But she never relied on the words. Eyes were the mirrors of the soul and she could see it in his eyes now. He really had missed her. Just as she intended getting closer to him, his phone rang. She watched his expression evolve into a very serious one as he peered on his phone screen. Whoever calling was not quite welcomed by Arnold. He stood up and walked out of the room.

When he came back in the room he found her by the window. The breeze was playing with her hair, the sun was displaying all kinds of browns and yellows on her. She got a tan during the last few months away from him. It suited her. _Everything suited her._

As he got closer to her, he saw the cigarette between her fingers. _She started again._ She drew in deeply on it. The smoke plumed from her lips, vanished in the air.

"I thought you'd stopped it." Theresa turned around and saw him standing right next to their bed, hands in pockets.

"It helps… Calms the nerves." Arnold remembered the time when he and Robert had a bet on this. Robert said it was impossible for her to stop smoking. Arnold said the opposite. Robert was right about it, it seemed impossible, she was smoking one packet each day at those days. There was only one thing that would stop her. _A baby_. She got pregnant soon after the bet and immediately stopped it. So Arnold won the bet, _as always._

Arnold slipped her hand over her shoulder to her fingers that held the cigarette. His soft touch tickled her skin. He slowly reached her hand that rested above her head and slowly took the cigarette from her. This was the closest they got for months. She cherished the moment, having him this close, feeling his breath so near.

Arnold threw the cigarette out of the window and placed one finger under her chin without taking his eyes off her eyes and captured her lips. As both were drown in the passion and longing, she parted her lips, met her tongue with his. She thought she had lost him forever the night before and now had her body pressed up against his. She cupped his neck, held him tight against her. Being apart was not an option anymore. Tess, he sighed as he moved down to her neck suckling, causing her groan out loud.

He slowly slipped off the straps of her nightgown leaving her naked. He got close to her slowly, brushing her nipples with his body, making them ache and harden. He moved down to her breast and captured one nipple. She groaned his name out with satisfaction. He held her thight, pressed her against the window. Her knees buckled, she desperately needed his lips back on hers. She captured his lips again. He deepened it without hesisation.

"Bed?" he asked, as they broke the kiss for a second. Theresa gave him her answer by wrapping her legs around his waists. He carried her to bed and lied her down.

"Missed you." He whispered.

"Me too." She gave him a lingering kiss. "Now let's take those off."


	4. Chapter 4

She was trying so hard to focus on the meal that she was preparing for the evening but it was getting harder and harder. Arnold was out in the garden pacing non-stop while talking on the phone. Robert had called him an hour ago and they were still on the phone since then. It was apparent that they were not talking about good things. _He's growing out of his patience,_ she thought.

She knew both of them for years now. They had always been so close to one another. Arnold and Robert were two people that were bounded by the same ideals, same dreams. It was always the three of them; them and the work. Seemed nearly impossible to get between them. _No. It was impossible to go between them_. They never let anyone or anything break their relationship. _Even her. But, best not think about that now_ , she thought.

Arguing this long was not something they did. In her bones, she knew something was wrong and felt this desperate need to get to the garden and ask what was going on. But she was not going to do that. _Best leave them be,_ she thought.

As she finally found the way to get back to preparing, he came in and let out a deep sigh. He looked really irritated and annoyed. She caught his eyes and waited for him to talk to her about it.

"It's nothing."

"Doesn't look like that."

"Not now Tess." She looked up at him and watched him leave the room. He's locking himself out again. It'd been a week since he came back home and since they made love that morning everything seemed to be going better. Then this phone call came. And all, gone. _Thanks Robert_ , she thought.

...

She couldn't decide whether she had to check him or not. Giving him room was, probably, the right thing to do but, of course, not what she was going to do.

She found him in the study, looking out through the window.

"Dinner's almost ready."

"Okay." She walked to him touched his face gently. He closed her eyes and let his head fall in her palm. He looked peaceful. They remained like that for a while. Then he distanced himself from her touch. And once again, got lost in the view.

"It's the park. He thinks we should sell it."

"And you don't agree?" She knew she shouldn't have said this but couldn't help it. For her, Robert was right on this. They could make a lot more money that way. And more importantly, he wouldn't have to stay there this much if they sold it.

His eyes were full of rage. And she could see that he was dissapointed in her. All his body was shouting at her, asking, how could she even say that?

"Of course i don't agree Tess. Corporations see these kind of projects differently. And we won't be this independent the minute they take over. Of course i don't want to sell it!"

"But it has many advantages too. There'll be investments. Money will literally pour into the park and you'll get the chance to do more. Isn't that what you wanted?"

He looked at her, broken, terrified. He looked like there was something he wanted to say to her but something was standing in his way. He distanced himself from her again, started pacing the room, stroking his beard, thinking. Then he replied, with a very soft voice.

"I don't want them harmed. The hosts, the park. I don't want them harmed." She could feel every inch of her body tense up with this answer. He became too bounded to the hosts. He went on as she got lost in worry.

"I think i should get back and see what Robert's doing."

"No!" she exclaimed. Tears rushed to her eyes. She was panicking.

"You're not doing such thing! I need you here. I need you with me Arnold. I let you do anything, you needed room and i gave you that. But. I'm tired. I can't keep on doing this. Now i need you to be as understanding as i was to you for the past few months!"

"Theresa-"

"It's me or them, Arnold."

"Tess-" he tried to hold her but she slipped away from his hold.

...

She found herself in Charlie's door. She hadn't opened the room since she lost him. She couldn't let herself get in. Everything must be the same as he left them, she thought. She closed her eyes and opened the door.

 _As if he never left_ , she thought as she reclined back on the closed door. Tears were burning her eyes. _I miss you. I miss you so much._

 _"Why you? Why you, not me?"_ , she said aloud. She was tired of giving fights. She was tired of fighting for nothing. She never won them. First Charlie, and now Arnold.

She walked to his bed and let herself fall on it. She hugged the pillow on the bed, smelling it, filling her lungs with her boy's scent and closed her eyes.

...

"Tess?"

"Theresa?"

There was only one room left that he still did not check. He hadn't been in there since Charlie's death. He did not even now if Theresa cleared the room or not.

He took a deep breath and opened the door.

She had opened the little lamp that he had on his nightstand. Weak light lumineered the room slightly. He felt like he was visiting a memory. As if Charlie could get in the room dancing around, asking if he wanted to play or not. _But he wasn't._

He looked at her wife who was sleeping on her side, her back turned to him. He watched how her body moved with her breathing. _If only you could understand. If only Robert could understand_.

He laid next to her and took her in his arms, his body taking hers shape. He buried his face in her hair. He could feel the tears coming. He buried his face deeper in her hair but couldn't stop them.

...

Theresa woke up to his sobbing. She could feel the arms get tighter and tighter around her. She turned to face her husband and hugged him tight. She wanted to know she was never going to leave him, that she'd be always there for him.

They did not speak but held one another until both calmed down.


	5. Chapter 5

She did not know for how long she had been sitting on Charlie's seat, tense, nervous staring at her husband sleeping. She realized she had been biting her nail for the whole time. _Stop._ For twice, _for twice_ , her mind was failing to find a way out. The first one was inevitable. _Yeah, tell that to a mother._ But she finally stopped being so harsh on herself. Like everyone else said, she couldn't have saved her son. Nobody could. _But this one_ … _This one can be stopped_. And she would never forgive herself if she can't. _If Charlie was here, this would be so much easier. Even seeing his smile would have made him be reasonable again._ She was loosing Arnold, in her bones she knew it. Everyone else would think she was making a big deal out of this. He had worked for the park for many years, had been with the hosts more than he had been with them even. Of course he was going to be possesive over the whole thing. But everyone else, who would interpret his actions that way, _did not know him_. She knew him. And Robert. It was time for the two to have a serious conversation on this. For she knew, _it was impossible to save him from himself without help._ She, clearly, had managed to stop him from leaving. But for how long? A week more? And then what? What was going to happen when he got back to the park? Was he going to become even more absorbed into this world of robots? Never manage to get back to reality even? The idea made her shiver. Arnold, always had this tendency of living his idea of a life. A reality that he created in his mind. If he did not have that, how could he create that _world._ _Could anyone think of a god that did not believe in his world, in his creations, that don't_ _get absorbed by them, be fascinated by them. He had created them in his image. It wasn't hard to understand him prefering his creations to the others that were not his doing._ _He did not have any power over humans, and he didn't like that. And he had lost his son. But in his world, he did not need to loose anything._ These were all terrifying things to think of but they were real. She remembered what Arnold had said to her once. "You don't understand." Oh, she could understand, she could understand it perfectly. And it terrified her.

Very silently, she left the room, leaving her husband asleep. She lit a cigarette before she got to the garden. Taking her phone out of her pocket, she drew a deep sigh, looking at Robert's name on her phone screen. _I'm sorry Arnold._ She touched the screen and started the call, tightining her hold on it as she waited for him to pick up. A sleepy voice reached her after seconds.

 _"_ What's wrong? Are you okay Theresa?" She could feel the worry in his voice. _Of course, she hadn't checked the clock._

"Yes, nothing's wrong… No… I –I'm not, I'm not, Robert." She took another deep breath. Her voice was failing her. And then continued. "Robert, he is not okay. He is not okay. And i'm loosing him. I can't loose him too." She stopped again, trying so hard not to break.

"I know. I know you can't. How are things? Between you two, i mean?"

"We are good… I think… At least, we _were_ until your call."

"Shit, Tess, you don't agree with him now, do you?"

"You know, I don't."

"Because I want this for him too. There is no downside of it. Those people don't even know what they're paying for. We'll get on with our work and have much more money to improve it."

"I don't care about that."

"Well, but he does. But, of course, he won't listen to me. And he'll be… Better… " The word better stopped her. _Was he really going to be better?_ She pulled herself together.

"We have to find a way around it and let them in. He'll listen to you. He _always_ listened you. Just make up with him first and then talk to him. Please, Robert."

" _He stopped listening me very long time ago, Tess, you know that pretty well."_ Theresa stopped for a second. Robert never missed the chance to bring that up.

"Please, try."

"I will." He stopped for a second and then continued. "By the way yours is one of the corporations that want the park. Delos, right?"

 _Shit._ "Does he know about that?" She had no idea about Delos being involved in this and s _he hoped Arnold did not know about it too._

"I don't think so. The list merely touched his hand. He likes tossing around things these days." _And he still jokes._ Theresa decided to cut this short.

"Come to dinner this week and let's solve this problem between you and Arnold. And don't tell him about Delos."

"Fine. Do the chicken thing that you used to do for me."

"I haven't done it in years. I don't even remember how to do it."

"It'll come to you. It always comes to you, _sooner or later_."

" _Don't._ " She _knew_ he was smirking at the other end of the phone.

"I'll be there on Thursday."

"Seven?"

"Good."

"Don't be late."

"Never." He hung up. She sighed and put her phone back in her pocket. It was times like this she felt like dying. She was lost in her thoughts when she received a text. It was from Robert.

 _"He'll be okay. I'll make sure of it. You know that i will. He's the only person that i care about more than i care about you. That's why he has you."_


End file.
